Counting Virtual Blessings

No one understands exactly how amazing the internet is…until you’ve experienced it firsthand. I’m not talking about how fast it is, or how the information you need is always just on the other side of a Google search. I’m talking about the human element.

Many of us who’ve dared to venture into this flat world have tried to explain the circles of friends that exist within the blogosphere to those “on the outside”. No one really gets it…and, if you’re like me, you find yourself starting to question your own sanity as you try to explain it to others, struggling to make it sound un-freaky – even though you know fully well that it isn’t creepy at all.

The internet has blessed me with a circle of friends that I never would have met otherwise. It has blessed me by strengthening my connection with friends and family in ways that may have taken years – if it would have even happened at all. And, amazingly, the internet has allowed me – no, taught me – how to open myself unabashedly to accept love whole-heartedly.

One of these blessings that have fallen into my lap is Colleen (seated at right).

You may have read my Girl Talk Thursday posts before. Colleen is a part of the crew that organizes Girl Talk. As it so turns out – by the magic of the internet – she also happens to live in my town. So, recently, we had a “tweet up” and spent an afternoon together over delicious food and amazing Riesling. We hugged tightly and sincerely, with giddy smiles, the minute we recognized each other.

Colleen embraces the world with that same tenacity. She does not shy from affection – which makes me love her even more. She never tempers her kindness and support with cynicism. …but at the same time, she can drop an awesome f-bomb (or three) over lunch and you’ll laugh till your head hurts and your sides ache.

In short, I’m so thankful that I know her and I have her as a friend, an ear, and a shoulder. I know she will be there whenever I call.

Thank you, Colleen.

And, thank you for my award. :)

Now, for the nitty- gritty. Here’s how this works…

1. Thank the person who nominated you for the award.

2. Copy and paste the award on your blog.

3. Link to the person who nominated you for the award.

4. Share seven interesting things about yourself.

5. Nominate your own seven Beautiful Bloggers.

Now, I know you’re all itching to hear seven interesting things about me…and, quite honestly, I am too. I mean, seven???? Really people??? Wow…I’m hard-pressed to come up with two.

1. I live with my heart in the driver’s seat and my brain in the backseat, holding onto the “oh shit” bar and gritting its teeth (she’s not that great of a driver). I’ve tried it the other way around though, and it just isn’t for me. If you don’t like it, keep it to yourself. If you do, come on in. You’re welcome to ride with me. It is sure to be worth it in the end.

2. My only clear memories of recess are from my earliest school days, preschool or kindergarten, at Trinity Day School in Texas. I remember standing in our little navy jumpers at the back corner of a faded asphalt basketball court, out behind the bigger building on campus. There was a chain link fence covered in a vine. As a child, I was sure it was honeysuckle, though in retrospect, perhaps it was a variety of jasmine. I remember picking and sucking the blossoms with my friends. I also remember walking in the grass, picking buttercups and touching the pollen inside the petals with my little fingers, singing Mary Had a Little Lamb and playing London Bridge.

3. I can’t stand to have my mouth and nose covered up. I have this crazy fear of suffocating. Thankfully, it’s gotten a lot better over the past dozen or so years, but I still don’t like it.

5. I will turn 33 this summer. That number echoes and reverberates in my head like the calculator screen when you divide 100 by 3. 33.333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333………………

This is not to say that I’m troubled by this age; really, I’m fine with it. I actually rather like it. (Which is an improvement. I didn’t like 29 or 30 too much.) It just always produces that mental image of duplicity…or triplicity…or, so on… I think it must be something about the number three.

6. Ever since I visited my brother in Boston a few years ago, and spent the days and nights walking between Harvard Square and his apartment and all amongst the historic sites in downtown Boston, I’ve wanted to move into an urban-urban area and sell my car. I’m “over” driving half an hour to get anywhere in town (i.e. anywhere in Jacksonville). I think this goes along the lines of simplifying my life – shop at a corner store, walk to neighborhood restaurants, trade my backyard for a park, push a stroller vs. load up in car seats. I’m getting burnt out on suburbia.

7. I’m currently in the middle of a love affair with fresh mozzarella. I keep it in my bottom fridge drawer and have a hard time not eating large quantities of it at a time. I treat myself to it alone with a glass of wine, though sometimes I enjoy it beside sliced apples or Wheat Thins, before or after dinner. BigGirl calls it “squishy cheese” and complains when she sees the package because “it’s so juicy”. I think it’s a lot like being in love with a dork. “I know he’s kinda ugly, but he makes me happy…”

Now, for the fun part. I get to pass it on!

1. My sister-in-law, Steph, has really risen to the occasion. She’s been there – tried and true – for me like no other. She and I have laughed, cried, drank, texted, emailed, chatted, talked, you name it. We’ve even sent each other ecards of questionable taste. We have always had so much in common, but recently, she’s become so much more than a sister-in-law to me. And for that, I am so incredibly thankful….even if she is a little SWF sometimes and copies my every move while perched atop a burro. I mean, imitation is the highest form of flattery, right? (hee hee)

2. Nominating Cheryl is sort of like cheating, because Colleen nominated her, too…but she deserves it! Cheryl is a cheerleader like no other. She and I have a real world connection, but it is through the power of the twitterverse and the blogosphere that we have the relationship that we have today. Cher and I dug into the trenches together through NaBloPoMo until we came out alive. Cher and I have cried together over emails and I think both of us nearly crawled through the phone at the sound of each other’s voice recently. I, too, can’t wait to see her again and give her a huge hug – and let my mascara streak down my face with my tears of joy.

3. Another blessing brought to me by the internet is this lady. I really don’t know what to link to exactly, since she’s sort of stepped out of the comfort of this little bloggy world to which we belong…and into the slightly racier world of fanfic….but I love her. Scratch that - I should have written, "AND I love her." No buts. She, too, is a budding writer. And for all you Twilight lovers, look for her red-hot-Mac-wearing lips to grace the flaps of book jackets at stores near you someday in the future…you’ll find her in the vampire/werewolf/supernatural/romance/emo section. Anyhow, Meadow, stick this award wherever you find appropriate (since you’ve abandoned your old blog) and feel the love I’m sending with it.

4. I couldn’t do this without sending some love to my real world #1 bloggy/twitter companion, Melanie. I’ve mentioned her here before…she’s the one that started this snowball for me. She can be very persuasive. Melanie and I have so much in common…I am so thankful to have her as a friend, a confidant, and a colleague. She’s got my back, she’s in my corner, and I love her. She freaking rocks.

5. I have not been fortunate enough to meet this chick in person yet, but she truly inspires me. I mean, wow. Her writing is more honest than I thought humanly possible. Her blog tells all and then some about her journey as a recovering alcoholic, lover, and woman. She has gracefully read some of my more private writings – ones I’ve written in response to her own work – writing she has inspired. She may not agree with me, but I see her as an incredibly courageous and strong person and writer, I can only hope some of that rubs off on me. She is someone I admire.

6. My next honoree is my “cousin”, Sean. He probably doesn’t care about this at all – because he all big and bad like that. He runs with the cool crowd, you know. :) Can you remember how it felt to be a little kid and watch older kids & teenagers and think how cool it would be to be big and grown like them? That’s kind of how I feel about him. He’s madly in love with his wife and daughters, and I think that’s amazing. I’d love to meet him one day. I know we would hug and laugh and have a blast – and I’d love to meet his wife and babies, too. I’d hug them all and give squeezes to his baby girls (because all babies deserve squeezes, not because I’m a freaky stalker chick or anything). So, Sean, do with this what you will, and know it is sent with admiration.

7. And, for my last blogger, I’m going to bend the rules. I’m sending this Beautiful Blogger award to another of my kindred spirits, Jen Z. A colleague of mine, she’s been talking to me about starting her own blog – and I’m TOTALLY going to make that happen…NOW! She will be a favorite of yours, I just know it. She’s witty, intelligent, and a lot like me…what’s not to like? hee hee I can’t wait to start reading all that goes on in her head; I’m positive it will not disappoint. Stay tuned for a linky coming your way soon.

All righty, folks. We've finally reached the end of this uber-long awards post. I think I hear the music playing....

On Writing

Right now, I’m on an excursion within myself that goes a lot deeper than I care to discuss here.

However, there are aspects of this quest – legs of this journey – that truly belong here.  They unfold here.  This blog, this collection of thoughts and emotions, this trail of bread crumbs, is my mirror.  Sometimes it’s a rearview mirror, but a mirror nonetheless.

In particular, this piece of my life I share with you all here is my writing.  The writer in me is an adolescent, itching to spread her wings and explore.  She is passionate and wide-eyed.  But, her youthful ignorance is tempered by respect for masters and teachers of the craft.

I read about writing.  I practice in my notebooks daily.  I journal privately, and have nearly as long as I can remember.  I join communities of writers chasing down the ever elusive advice and feedback that will help me grow and learn.  And sometimes, as I try to improve my skill, I find that I am really working on my soul.

Anne Lamott wrote in Bird by Bird, that in order to be a writer, you have to be reverent.  This line made itself at home in my mind immediately.  It is an observation I’ve noted many times before. 

Writing comes from within.  It is record of a journey.  It is a trail of emotions, visions and experiences.  Writers look at the world from outside their body.  They are in tune with their sensory memory and can efficiently retrieve those moments in words.

I tell my students (at times, near daily) that writing occurs somewhere between your mind, your heart, and the page.  Sounds obvious, but what I mean is – when you write, you do not look to the world for the words.  You dig deeper.  You turn your eyes, your focus, your energy inward and climb into the core of your gut and bury yourself in the tiny corner of your abdomen that holds it.  The feeling.  The moment.  There, you will find the words. 

Sometimes it is harder than others.  Sometimes you really have to push.  Like holding your breath under water, you have to resist the urge to pop up.  Stay there through the burning, breathless sting.  Let the tears flow.  Laugh out loud.  Feel the pain in your hand as the page and pen bruise its back. 

Now, you’re getting to the good stuff.

To me, writing is quite personal and spiritual.  This, I believe is why, as my friend noted, writers love and crave an audience, but do not require one.  While, of course, some words are light-hearted and don’t really “rock the world”, if you will, much of it is an expression of an Achilles heel.  Whether the words are fiction or fact, there is a sense of vulnerability that accompanies the click of the “publish” button.  And, when you have the opportunity to read your writing aloud – no matter how good it might be – it is like standing naked before those listening.  Breathing deeply is only a memory.

So today, dear readers – and I do mean dear readers – I want to say thank you.  Thank you for embarking on this journey with me.  Thank you for your company and your kind words.  Know that, as my writing and I mature and change, I am extremely grateful to borrow your ear, if only on a rare occasion.

I will always welcome your comments, private or public.  I am always open to discuss.  And I will continue to stand before you – baring myself and my work – as long as you will have me.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jig

We made it home safely last night from our Hillbilly Holiday.  Today, the girlies and I have done virtually nothing other than bask in the comfort of home, only venturing out to retrieve our loving and faithful pets from their “camp” and make a quick stop for Christmas card photos. 

I promised my girlies an afternoon treat of cocoa and cookies.  Today’s snack was made better by a special holiday serenade from Michael Buble.   Later, we spent more than an hour gathered around the kitchen table, catching up on our advent coloring pages.  (My hand has yet to fully recover from The Crayola Grip.) 

My suitcase still lies in the floor of my office, waiting for me to properly unpack the clean shirts, socks, pants, and sweaters.  Laundry from our journey, now washed, dried, and folded neatly, patiently awaits my attention.  My guest bedroom remains a pile of projects to complete and gifts to prepare.  My refrigerator and cupboards are nearly bare and I’ve no specific plans yet for holiday baking or special eats. 

Today, the girlies focused their energy today on reuniting with their toys and various belongings.  BabyGirl slept for hours this evening curled up in a chair like a kitten.  I chatted with My Mama, FireDaddy’s Mama, and my girlies.  I cuddled my puppies and kissed my babies.  I talked with friends and gave thanks for our safe return. 

My Blackberry is filled with notes on thoughts from my journey I’d like to share with you….but today is not the day, friends. 

I am so glad to be home again.

And, again my compulsion gets the best of me…

You know, I was just thinking the other day, “I’m bored. There’s nothing to do this time of year…”

I know you were probably thinking the exact same thing, right?

Since my imperfect conclusion to NaBloPoMo back in September, I’ve been pondering the possibilities. Shall I have a “do-over”? Shall I leave well enough alone? If I were to do a “do-over”, when would be a good time? Now? Later? Never? I guess all I ultimately decided was that it’s rather like having another baby. For one, there is NEVER a perfect time. And two, if you can’t ever resolve that you’re done for good, you probably aren’t done.

Then, amidst my noncommittal self-talk, with a stroke of serendipity, I stumbled upon this lovely little project called Holidailies. It is a project I can’t refuse. So, lucky you, you’re in for a treat. The rules say I have to post a minimum of 20 times between December 7^th and January 6^th, with the goal of one post per day in mind. I think I can hack it, even given the possible trip to the hills FireDaddy and I are planning for the holidays.

I hope you’re ready for this…because December has already been a bit of a rocky ride for me, folks. Within the first week of December, I have already: sustained back pain that interfered with my ability to function in the world, nursed sick children with dangerously spiking fevers, decorated the interior of my home for the holiday season (and managed to drag it out over the course of a week), moved furniture, bought paint for FireDaddy to repaint my kitchen, began searching for new paint colors for my office and den, continued to very slowly create handmade gifts for family and friends, taken approximately 1000 pictures, watched my beloved Old Boys of Florida stumble in defeat, and eat my weight in banana pudding. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d say this should be an interesting month.

Wow. And I wondered why I was so cranky yesterday.

The Great Interview Experiment

I stumbled upon this really great idea recently, via The Glamorous Life Association.  And, you know me, I don’t like to be left out of good stuff.  So, I signed up and happily accepted my assignment.

I was to interview Laura at Word Grrls. First, like any good reporter, I did my research…which was A LOT.  Laura wears many different hats, ranging from advice guru, to writing “coach”, artist, explorer of rural lands, and more.

After writing my questions (which was tougher than I thought), I anxiously awaited her replies.

Today, they arrived!!!  I am so pleased to share with you a little about Laura, in her own words. 

1. Many of us are moving towards living more "greenly".  What is the next big step you'd like to take to improve your mark on the Earth?

I'd like to do better with recycling, especially paper. It bothers me to have so much paper with everyday stuff. Funny how we thought having computers and the Internet would mean using less paper. I think it generates more in some ways. But, on a personal level, I could do better at recycling those poor ground up tree parts.

2. You wrote a post about "vacuuming out our brains".  If I were to dump the bagless canister into the garbage, shortly after you vacuumed your brain, what might I see?

For my brain you would need to empty it a couple of times. I carry around a lot of clutter. There would be ideas for recipes, mostly holiday cookies at this time of year. There would be a lot of half formed ideas for blog posts. Ideas for starting my own blog network. Ideas for writing a paranormal romance book. A few dead batteries from brain cells that are just tired of listening to me. Diet coke cans, coffee cup circles on masses of paper I've written notes to myself on. A Raggedy Ann doll which is almost half way sewn up, her face nicely embroidered by hand (a few years ago). A pair of boots for mucking around at old houses which were only worn once cause I remember to bring my map but never actually change my footwear, it was a good idea at the time. Something sharp that broke and might be dangerous if it snags the vacuum hose. At the bottom of the canister would be a pile of sludge from guilt, hurt feelings and disappoints. In the light bits of dust flying around would be all kinds of good things I've thought of, experiences I've been proud of, happy with and people from my past who I was glad to know but don't think of very often.

3.  Your blog, Word Grrls, is filled with advice on writing and blogging.  Do you have a writing/blogging mentor?  If so, what do you admire about them?

At first I thought no. But I do have a mentor, someone I look up to and think of as an ideal. Her name is Bev Walton-Porter. I admire her for doing. That sweet and simple. Things I want to do, she goes ahead and just does them. Makes it look easy. I also admire Deanna for the same reason, she is very accomplished in areas beyond writing too. I've known Bev longer though I've actually never met either of them face to face. Funny how that happens online.

4. I know that I, and a few of my "Bloggy Buddies", need to feel like I’m “in the mood" to blog or write.  Some moods are more productive than others.  What are some of your favorite moods for writing?  And, tell me about when/where you write.  Is it quiet, or do you prefer music or television on?  Do you usually finish a post in one sitting, or save it to finish/review later?

I can write with the TV or radio on. But I can't write when someone else is in the house. Very odd. I love going out to a coffee shop and reading, making notes and sometimes even writing a few pages. But the people around are strangers and I almost feel like I am alone while being out. I fee refreshed from being out, even though I could become a hermit at times I love being out, talking to people too. It's complicated I guess. :)

My best mood for writing is being under a deadline. I tend to procrastinate and become distracted so having a deadline keeps me on track. It puts me in the mood to write.

5. I noticed on one of your other sites that you seem to have a "thing" for poppies...or maybe not.  What's up with that?  The flower projects are adorable.  Is there meaning or a story behind them?

That is my personal blog which is a bit neglected. The poppies were posted for Remembrance Day. I really like flowers, especially crocheted flowers. It's one of the projects on my to-do list.

6. What's your sign? What aspects/traits of your sun sign do you feel most accurately describe you?

I am Sagittarius. In Chinese astrology I'm a Wood Dragon. Both fit me well. I do love to learn new things, though I am not good at sticking to any one thing. I also have the need to teach the world, even if they don't especially listen at the time. Someday they will!

7. If cost was of no concern, and the sky was the limit, but you had to choose TODAY, what would you dress up as for Halloween 2010?

I would be a Witch. Not a warty black witch but a modern witch with a flowing gown an a pointy hat in red. My witch might even have a ball gown and jewels.

8. Tell me about your favorite room.  Anywhere.

Something I saw in a movie once had the kitchen kind of outside. They had an open fire pit and everyone was sitting around it. Yet it was open so smoke wasn't bothering anyone. Still it was inside so they weren't getting attacked by bugs either. You could read your book without being rained on and there was a huge window on the inside where you had a reading nook which looked out over the fire and gardens outside. I can't quite remember how it all fit together now. I liked the idea of being cosy and having the elements from outside around too.

So, there you have it!  Laura in a nutshell…or something like that. :)

I rather like her! And, Laura, I have to tell you – you and I have more in common than it may appear on the surface!

Before I leave you, I thought it would be fun, since Laura is an artist and, on occasion, includes her drawings in her posts, to include a little drawing of my own. 

(Drum roll, please…and no snide remarks.  I teach elementary school, remember?)

Questions about my artwork and/or her responses?  Leave a comment, or – better yet – visit her blog!  It’s worth the trip!

Psst!  Wondering about the flip side of this little project? You can check out my interview here. It’s my turn to be the “star”!

And, if you’re interested in participating, it’s not too late!  Just hop on over to Neil’s blog and leave your “count me in” comment.  He’ll contact you via email with YOUR assignment.  And don’t forget to keep me posted! 

It's September 30th...Now What?

This day actually snuck up on me, believe it or not.

Wow. What a month it has been.

I'm bitten by the nostalgia bug right now. I feel a bit as though I'm graduating from something. I'm filled with sentiment and a dash of emptiness. No regret, though. (Well, except for that one day that I crashed without posting. A day that will live in infamy...)

As I bid adieu to the month my "Beautiful September", and I look back on my list of posts, I have to ask myself what I've learned.

1. Writing is not a strength everyday. Just like everything else, there are good days and bad days.

2. I need "me" time. And, writing can be that.

3. Prioritizing makes anything happen.

4. It is possible to burn out on writing. But, it is only temporary.

5. Writing daily truly transforms your thinking. There is a little burner in your mind that never really stops simmering.

6. Some days I want to write just for me - for no one else to see. Whether I keep it tucked away in a spiral somewhere, rip it up, or burn it, somethings are just for me.

Even after NaBloPoMo, I continue to struggle with some thoughts. For instance,

1. I read a quote from an author months ago that said something to the effect of "the day I became a writer was the day I stopped writing for myself and started writing for my audience". I have been through phases of thinking, with this blog especially, in which I've agreed and disagreed with that quote. True - it is MY blog. But, what good is a blog without readers? It may as well be in my spiral beside my bed. False - if I think not of myself, I don't like my writing...and if I don't like it, who will?

2. And, depending on which way the pendulum is swinging on that particular day, what is the purpose of this blog? Is there one? Is it a useful tool or a guilty pleasure?

And, finally, I'm left with a decision to make.

Now what?

The neurotic part of me sees this month as a failure. I missed a day. I cannot truly congratulate myself on a month of daily posting. Do I dare attempt a perfect month in October? If not October, another month?

The rational side of me, though, sees it for what it is, recognizes the feat it has been to pull this off - even imperfectly - and looks forward to the relief that comes from NOT "having to" post daily. That side of me also hopes that, without the pressure to produce even without true inspiration, the quality of my posts will improve and be more consistent. Elements of my life have definitely taken a blow from the relative neglect (even my sleep) because of this little pet project.

The insecure and needy side of me worries that perhaps my readers - even the silent ones - will go away. There is a nice reward in knowing folks are reading, even if their face doesn't appear on the sidebar and their name doesn't pop up in my comments.

So, here it is, September 30th, and I stand before you with many questions and few answers. I can say, though, that it has been a great month.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on my Beautiful September. Even you, ghost readers.

That's all for now. I'll see you tomorrow for a little Girl Talk.

Photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/iheartlinen/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

My Friend Launched a Writer's Crisis

There I was, happily doing a little light blog reading this evening. Dinner was in the works, FireDaddy was trimming the viburnum out front, and the girls were happily chillin' out in La La Land. Unknowingly, I decided to read the latest post by my friend, and NaBloPoMo amigo, Cheryl. In it, she talks about scheduling uninterrupted time for personal writing, and implies how the internet and blogging has eaten hours of her time.

Guilty. Yep. 100% guilty.

No surprises there.

So, what's the big deal? Well, I started thinking, which is NEVER wise for too long. (I'm neurotic, remember? I'm famous for over-analyzing things...)

I, too, would love to one day be a published author. A real, live, author. A FOR REAL, not just blogging, author. I'd love to see my own words IN PRINT...on PAPER...in a collection of other pages of print...bound together with some sort of adhesive and strings and stuff. You know, IN A BOOK.

This thinking has quickly launched a writer's crisis in me. Well, perhaps it's just a blogger's crisis. Right now, I'm ready to go grab a pen and paper and write things down that I don't want to share. I want to reclaim my permission to write JUNK. Permission to be a crappy writer and just WRITE. Permission to forget all about audience for the day.

But, you see, I'm sort of in the middle of something...(National Blog Posting Month, in case you need more direct hints). And, it's sort of become a "thing" to me. I need to do this. I don't like to fail (even though I technically failed very early on, but I've decided to heck with their rules and I'm doing it for me).

So, here I go...I'm abandoning my blog for the night. (It's a little too late for that, right?) I'm going off to my bedroom to tuck myself away with a spiral and a pen (again) and write whatever it is I dern well please - whether you like it or not!

But, I'll throw you a bone...here's an unfinished draft I found in my post list. Hope you enjoy! (Perhaps it sounds more professional to call it a "cliffhanger" rather than "unfinished"...)

WANTED: New home for five year-old girl. Must not have your own children. Must live in Florida (she doesn't want to have to speak a different language). Must be available to help plan a birthday party in June.

It happened this week.

She told me she didn't want to live with me anymore. She's moving out. She's leaving home.

Well, that was the plan for about 12 hours at least.

7 AM - Fire Daddy wakes me with startled: IT'S SEVEN O'CLOCK!

CRAP!!!

All four of us need to be dressed and walking out the door in FIFTEEN MINUTES! There was NO WAY...

I bypassed the panic button and opted for creativity...er, bribery.

I dashed to "the pink room" and lovingly snuggled up to my Big Girl in her drooling slumber and whispered, "Baby, it's seven o'clock. We're supposed to be leaving in a minute and Mommy and Daddy just woke up. If you girls get dressed and ready really quickly without any fussing or whining this morning, Mommy will buy you a prize this afternoon after school!"

(And in that moment, I officially became the worst mother in the world...blatant disregard to all known good advice...)

Regardless of my poor parenting skills, the strategy seemed to work for a few minutes. The girls were somewhat more cooperative than usual, though Big Girl was very slow moving. The Littlest Princess was amazingly easy-going (call it luck) and she and Fire Daddy were out the door in no time.

Big Girl and I, though, hit rock bottom. All she had to do was put on her shoes and socks while I brushed my teeth (and otherwise dressed myself). Instead, she chose to sit and do nothing, insisting her hair was brushed first. You could call it a conflict in priorities, I guess....or task avoidance.

Inevitably, the reminders grew harsher, the friendly prods turned more towards jabs from a hot poker, and my soft, sweet, loving, tender voice morphed to an onslaught of shrill, wicked threats. Until, finally, after the last warning had been declared and no improvements were seen, the gig was up. It was over. She'd lost it. No prize for her....

...and the Littlest Princess had proudly been promised her reward.

As you can imagine, all hell broke loose at this point.

Doors slammed. Tears streamed. Words were spoken that could not be retracted, though I'm not sure she proclaimed "The H Word" at all (as I would have as a child). And she announced her desire to live somewhere else.

When a mother hears these words, it is a turning point. You can react to it many different ways -- and, in my hyper-analytic, neurotic way, I think how you react says a lot about you....especially in that little person's mind. Well, it would have to MY little mind at that age...

So, what I said was this...

"I'm so sorry, Baby. Mommy's really going to miss you."

I wish I could have been inside her mind to hear know what she thought when I said that.

It's Friday...

I think I'm starting a new tradition.

Friday = Day of Celebration

It started with exhaustion. Three Fridays in a row, the girlies and I (mostly I) drug ourselves home after a long week, too tired to consider the prospects for dinner. Enter online pizza ordering. Quickly, punctuating a streak of school days with a pizza dinner has become a tradition my girls adore. (And, thanks to weekly emails from takeout pizza places, I'm feeding the family "out" for under $20, tip included.)

Of course, being the wannabe overachiever that I am, I couldn't leave it at that. Last week, the girls and I baked a triple chocolate cake for no reason other than (a) gluttony, and (b) it was Friday. Fortunately for us, we were still able to find a reason to celebrate Saturday and Sunday...and even Monday night! (We, conveniently, ran out of reasons to celebrate as soon as the cake was gone.)

This weekend, I've wondered, how am I going to follow that act?

Well, with pizza (and bread sticks - the other part of this week's special) in my belly, I've decided upon a giveaway.

Yes! You read that right!

DO YOU FEEL LUCKY TONIGHT??? (If not, don't worry...you've got a week.)

I am SO excited to announce my first Friday Freebie!!!

Here's the deal:

Thanks to the kind folks over at DigitalRoom.com, one super-duper lucky reader (residing within the US only....sorry. I know I'm really big overseas and all...) will receive a FREE 18x24" rolled poster print.

BUT, WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!! I know some of you (MyMama) might be thinking, "Do I have to pay shipping?" HECK, NO!!! Because included in this fabulous prize is FREE shipping via UPS Ground service. (I'll do my best to pull some strings and dig up the hottie customer service representative that used to deliver to my place of business a few years back. He was SOOO cute professional!)

Now, if you're like me, you're probably in the process of sizing this giveaway up. "What do I need a 18x24" poster print for? Do I really need this? What are my chances of winnng? What do I have to do?"

First of all, I can think of lots of different things to do with this poster.

Ever watched HGTV? Have you seen how they take your own family photos and blow them up in black and white, find a frame, and **presto** you've got very expensive-looking and chic wall hanging?

Expecting a baby? Working on a nursery? Take close-up photos of baby items or realia centered around the nursery's theme (i.e. off center photo of teddy's face, a great picture of fresh flowers or a butterfly, an extreme close-up of a toy firetruck, etc.).

Are you a teacher? Perhaps you've been looking for a reward for a special child or special goal. Classroom decoration? Or maybe you would like to enlarge an image to create your own classroom reference poster?

Finally, perhaps you might be interested in a little PhotoShop fun...Would you like a poster of yourself with someone from YOUR "List of Five"? Want a souvenir from that trip to Europe you never took? Get creative and have fun with this fun Friday Freebie!!!

Now, here's how you can enter to win:

1. Leave a comment explaining how you would use your poster if you win.

But that's not all!!! THERE'S MORE! Want to improve your odds? You can also...

2. Tweet about this giveaway using the tag #giveaway and link back to this post. (Leave a separate comment here to increase your chances of winning after you've done this .)

3. Share this post as a link on Facebook. (Leave a separate comment here after you've done this.)

4. Are you a blogger, too? Blog about this giveaway! (Leave a separate comment here after you've done this.)

The deadline to enter to win is Friday, September 25th, at 8PM EST.

This is so exciting! I can't wait to play!

Good luck, everyone! Don't forget to stop back in next weekend to see who won!

Sunday Simplicity

Today has been a simple day for me. A day to declutter and decompress. In keeping with my decluttering mode, I'll attempt to simplify my post today. Which is going to be hard because, well, I like to talk a lot...er, type a lot.

I gave my daughters a gift this morning. I gave them a Stay At Home Day. Big Girl nearly jumped for joy when I gave her permission to wear a mismatched outfit that she, apparently, adores. Baby Girl has been in hog heaven with her baby stroller, jewelry and flavored chapstick...half the time wearing only panties. I think she's a nudist trapped in a three year-old body.

I have been busily laundering and folding, emptying the dishwasher, clicking the mouse, paying bills, talking to the doggies, and generally doing whatever it is I feel like doing. No worries today.

As I walked from my bedroom to the girls' room one time, I noticed Baby Girl lying on the floor pillows in the den with her finger up her nose. "Baby, do you need a tissue?"

"Yes, I need tissue."

As I passed back through the room I handed her a tissue and left her to take care of her business.

A moment later, on my way to the kitchen, I noticed she was chewing on something. "What's in your mouth?"

"A booger. A booger from my nose."

Nice. What a Little Princess.

Back to my simple life.

Super Saturdays

I absolutely love Saturday. It is my favorite day of the week. It is the most optimistic of all the days, the most relaxed, the most free. The world lies before you on a silver platter. For once, I feel like I've captured a little bit of that elusive thing called "time".

I love to crawl out of bed before everyone else and steal a few minutes alone. My early rising companions, Bo and Daisy, often join me on the back porch to enjoy the pleasant morning breeze. Some days I read, or write, or talk on the phone to fellow early birds like Mama Dearest. Other days I may just enjoy breakfast in peace.

I love to lounge around for hours before getting dressed. The morning kids' shows with BigGirl and Littlest Princess, internet surfing and blog reading are all well and good, but mostly - it's just delaying the chore of getting dressed that I enjoy.

I love propping up on my bed after it's been made. My bedroom, gently lit by filtered sunshine, is a cool and relaxing place. It's even better when the house has a slight chill, making my throw blanket necessary for cozying.

And Saturday television is the best. Years ago, when it was just the BigGirl and I if FireDaddy was at the station, we enjoyed the occasional (OK, so maybe it was more "routine" than "occasional") PBS marathon. For years I was too cheap to pay for cable, so PBS was the best choice around for weekend viewing. We knew what time the cooking show marathon began and we'd memorized the lineup like pros. America's Test Kitchen, Fast Food My Way with Jacques Pepin, Everyday Food, Daisy Cooks!, BBQ U, and Julia child: Lessons With Master Chefs. We both stayed glued to the screen (and our seats) for hours. (Yes, I know that was not the best parenting move for my child's developing young mind. But, luckily, she doesn't seem to have been harmed by my negligence.)

Even as the day comes to a close, even if you realize you've completely wasted away the day, you've still got the hope and promise of one more day off. Sweet, sweet, Sunday...but that's another post.

Sadly, I cannot say I spent my day like this today. I did enjoy some early morning quiet outside with my doggies. I did spend a few hours, after returning home from necessary weekend errands, propped on my bed (even if it was behind my computer working on school stuff). I did get in some quality giggle time with my girlies (even if it was flanked by bickering and whining). And, best of all, I am, once again, putting myself to bed banking on the promise of Sweet Sunday. Tomorrow, I hope to never leave the house at all.

Pssst! This weekend, if you get a chance for some relaxing internet surfing and blog reading, be sure to stop by my buddy's blog. Even though she's in Portugal right now (and has posted some GORGEOUS pics of her vacation), she's hosting an anniversary giveaway. Just keep your paws off the coffee cozy. It's mine, babe.

Photo credits: Library of Congress photostream on Flickr

Where am I going with all of this?

This blog was supposed to be funny, and sometimes it is. This blog was supposed to be a "mommy blog", and sometimes it is. But, what I'm discovering is that this blog is just as neurotic as I am. Like many blogs I read, it is less about a category or a style or a genre of writing, and more about ME.

Me, glorious ME!!!

But, I digress....

Tonight, I considered submitting an old post to BlogNosh. As I read and explored the site once again, I realized that none of their "channels" really fit me and my blog.

Last night, as I was tackling giants, I took a brief break to write about tackling giants. FireDaddy asked me, "Are you still working or are you playing?" I was working.

He didn't buy that. "Neurotic, Yet Classy is PLAY," he argued.

That is what I said when I started this. I remember telling people this was my "recess". But something has changed.

I put this on my to do list and really want to get to it. Perhaps it's NaBloPoMo. I want to know if I can cut it. I want to make it to the end. (Which is really a mute point because I've already missed a day...but I made up for it!) I want to accomplish that. But even if it weren't for NaBloPoMo, I do have a bigger goal in mind...I'm just not sure what it is yet.

True, it is still a "me" thing. (Aren't all bloggers at least a little narcissistic at times?) But that's not all it is.

So, I stand at the threshold of another post tonight and many exercises are running through my mind. Exercises I turn to when I'm just not feeling it yet. Or, perhaps when I'm "feeling" it, but can't put my finger on it. And yet, I yield. I wonder if this is the place for those things. Those words. Those stories. Do you mingle stuff like *that* with stuff like *this*? Do you bring your baggage - whether it be good or bad - to the playground?

I war with myself about this aspect of blogging. Do I write for me or for my readers? (You know, those 17 people have a lot of pull in my world.) Where am I going with all of this anyway? What is my goal? Do I have to have a goal? Am I really just completely self-absorbed and none of you really give a flying flip what I write about -- or even IF I write at all??? Do you? Do you give a flying flip? Huh? SAY SOMETHING, WILL YA?

(And this is where I realize I've gone too far.)

Welp, guess it's back to the drawing board. I'd better get down to "work", right? Enough of this silly stuff for one night.

Ain't gonna Nablopomo no mo' today.

**Postscript: Just wondering....Do you have a favorite post from Neurotic, Yet Classy that you would submit to BlogNosh if YOU were me, glorious me? If so, would you be so kind as to leave a comment reminding me of my glorious writing? ;) And don't worry...if you can't remember the titles, just say something like "the one where you ....." and I think I'll be able to figure it out. Thanks!

Photo credits:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/garibaldi/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

I love this photo. It reminds me of one of my favorite Monet paintings.

GAME ON

This wonderful World Wide Web is such a funny place, isn't it? Whoever thought to call it a "web" in the first place had such foresight.

I mean, what intelligent woman ever predicted that men, women, kids, and teens would one day sit in front of a computer monitor for hours at a time doing little more than shifting their eyeballs from one side of their wide screen monitor to another, gently click-click-clicking their mice? Well, doing little more PHYSICALLY. What we're really doing is exploring and connecting, right? Socializing, at times?

It's funny how, sometimes, a surfing trip can feel like a vacation. A road trip, if you will. They take you places. You never know where you will wind up.

For instance, this week I've landed right in the face of two bloggy events. On most such occasions I read, surf a few links, and consider for...oh...3.5 seconds minutes before deciding it would be a shame to break such a streak of noncommitalness. (Is that a word?)

Readers, I'm proud to announce that streak is BROKEN! (Woo-hoo! I'm feeling all Thelma and Louise tonight, baby!) Here's what I'll be up to this month.

(1) NaBloPoMo. You're right. Part of me couldn't just resist an event with such a ridiculous name. It stands for National Blog Posting Month. Participants will post to their blogs DAILY for the entire month of September. Guess I'm going to have to break down and go wordless sometimes, huh?

(2) Girl Talk Thursday. I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm kinda girlie. Yep. It's true. I hide it well, don't I? What better event for a girlie girl like myself to participate in??? Especially when you get a personal invite from Ms. Blogger (who is also one of the "hostesses with the mostesses" of this event) herself??

So, my darling readers, stay tuned...it's going to be a busy month. After all, what else do I have to do, right?

Who Are YOU?

Let me preface this post with a disclaimer. I am not in this to make any enemies, offend anyone, or tick anyone off. Sorry. I'm just sayin'....

So, it's been a while, as you can see. Perhaps the Beatles said it best: "Oh blah dee, oh blah dah, life goes on, rah! La, la, la, la, life goes on." (Such an erudite bunch of young chaps they were...)

Do not let my lack of posts fool you, though. I have been here. Lurking in the shadows of others' blogs. I've been reading...and even, at times, commenting. (Feel free to "ooooh" and "aaaaah" at will.)

Tonight, for instance, I read this post. The title must have struck my interest, because this is not a blog I've regularly read. It did turn out to be a thought-provoking post. Particularly, towards the end.

"...I've been with my husband for ten years. I work full time from a home office. (Yes, I've upgraded from the couch.) I have two sons. One kid is three, the other is almost ten months-old. I cloth diaper the little one...."

Now, Ms. Blogger, let me reiterate that I do not mean to offend you in anyway. This is really nothing personal; yours just happened to be the blog that I read tonight. Forgive me for making you my guinea pig, and thank you for playing along. But, I find it quite interesting that you chose to include the fact that you cloth diaper your child in a paragraph describing who you are. This really spoke to me because I've noticed you are, by far, NOT the only mother on the blogosphere that seems to feel this is behavior is a part of their identity in some way. In fact, I have visited blogs (probably many) in which the author finds that this detail of their life is so important it merits inclusion in their mini-bio on their sidebar!

I hope the blogosphere as a whole will forgive me when I say, as honestly and candidly as I can, that I just don't get that, folks. Not the cloth diapering part...the broadcasting it to the world part.

I, as you know (if you've visited before) am the mother of two young drama queens. I nursed my daughters and made a lot of my own baby food (especially with Big Girl). No, I did not choose to use cloth diapers...but, is it really that big of a deal? My mother used cloth diapers for her three children, myself included. (And, yes, they did have disposable diapers then. This was a choice she made.) My question is, since when does the type of diaper you use make such an impact on your identity?

Really?

Would you find it equally as important when defining WHO YOU ARE to include that you use low flow shower heads? Or low watt bulbs? Or, perhaps you use a wash cloth to wipe your child's bum instead of disposable wipes???

I ask you, mothers of the blogosphere, what's up with this? What will you say when your children are potty trained? Will this status line fall to the wayside, or simply revert to past tense? ("Hello. My name is Jenny. I used to cloth diaper my baby.")

My One Regret

Summer is such a wonderful time of year for me. I love how relaxed, how carefree, how stagnant I become.

Now, you might be wondering, if I was so relaxed, carefree and stagnant, why wasn't I blogging more this summer?

Um, hello? When I said I was stagnant I was not referring to my rear end...well, too much. What I was referring to was my BRAIN.

I remember, as a child, going back to school each year after seemingly everlasting summer vacations and realizing that I had lost all dexterity in my hands. My muscles actually forgot how to write. The simple act of holding a pencil in my hand felt oddly foreign to me. It was a feeling much like trying to write a word that you're sure you know how to spell, but for some reason, at that moment, you stare at the letters like they're Greek until, finally, you turn to a neighbor and ask, "Does that look right to you?" At which time they nod and look at you with suspicion, wondering what person in their right mind forgets how to spell their own name...

Try as I might, I have not been able to figure out a way to function in the world as an adult without picking up a pen or pencil for two months. At the very least, those pesky sales people demand I sign the credit card slip. This may be the reason I've developed the tradition of offering other body parts an opportunity to atrophy during the summer months.

While I am not a person who has experienced much success at truly relaxing (I'm neurotic, remember?), I do enjoy rotting my brain. I have to admit that I have many fond memories of summers spent camping out in front of the predictable agenda of daytime television; sitting Indian style* at my coffee table, enjoying a homemade spinach, tomato and mushroom personal pizza for lunch, watching Starting Over; rocking sleeping babies all the way from Regis & Kelly to the end of Martha Stewart. For a few months of every year, I take pleasure in watching General Hospital. I even enjoy the initial stage of momentary confusion (and it is truly only momentary) while I try to fill in the blanks of a year's worth of storyline.

I'm sorry to say that I did not wallow in my summer this year as I have in years past. Perhaps it was the presence of my little shadows. Perhaps it was their own strong opinions about what channel we should be watching. Perhaps it was the absence of any sleepy little babies requiring multiple daily naps. Perhaps it was the growing workload accompanying my growing family, or my growing sense of responsibility to the world around me (a.k.a. screaming children, barking dogs, and my ever-expanding behind) compelling me to get up and do something.

I strive to live a life that will allow me, in the end, to look back and say, "I have no regrets." This summer, I failed. I regret that I did not spend more days in my pajamas, watching mind-numbing, slightly entertaining, daytime television this summer...because I love that.

I suppose there's always next year.

*I know this term is, apparently, politically incorrect now. However, this is what we called it when I grew up and it is what I THINK when I think of sitting cross-legged on the floor. In my classroom I call it "criss-cross", or when I taught 1st grade, "criss-cross applesauce". But this is my blog and I can call it what I want, so there.

Getting Back Into the Swing

Unfortunately, that's not the swing to which I'm referring. This is more like the swing I'm climbing back into...

My glorious spring break has come to an end, as all good things must do. This week, I've had to get back into the swing of things - which, fortunately, includes this blog! (You know how it is, you are more willing to get started on the things you look forward to first.)

So, with that, there's a few things that have been burning on my mind that I feel the need to share with you.

Item: I have found a miracle pill - and it isn't Prozac. Recently, after hearing about the benefits of B vitamins, I strolled down the vitamin aisle in Target. I intended to casually read the labels and generally scope out the B Market, when a little bottle called my name.

Stress B-Complex? Um, Hello??? I GOT stress, baby!

Needless to say, it didn't take much thought before that bottle hopped into my red cart and I popped one before I even hit the sack that night.

Wow. I felt it immediately. I have been more energized and "peppy" everyday that I've taken them. They may possibly be my little miracle pill.

Side effect not noted on the bottle: neon yellow-green pee. But it's worth it! (And nobody has to know...except everyone who reads my blog.)

Item: I'm thirty-two (almost) and can still (more like finally) do a cartwheel. My darling eldest daughter has this problem with stress and being really hard on herself...I have no idea where she gets it from. She's currently struggling with learning to do a cartwheel in her jazz/acro class. So, being the loving, supportive mommy that I am, I realized the best thing I could do is "tutor" her in tumbling at home. She just needs a little more practice and confidence and I'm sure she'll get the hang of it.

We tried practicing indoors and giving verbal feedback. We tried using our hands to support and guide her legs and body so she could feel the right form. (A method which failed miserably, by the way. Apparently, at the mere touch of our hand, she expects to be carried through the motions and turns every muscle to mush.) So, to what did this crafty teacher resort? Well, every good teacher knows you need to model first. And away I went!

I discovered a number of things...

1. Cartwheels are 90% psychological. It's freaking scary when you've never done it before (or haven't in a really long time) to throw your hind end over your head, relying on the strength of two feeble girly (soft and squishy) arms to prevent you from crashing to the ground and breaking something important.

2. Landing gracefully is much harder than it looks.

3. I look really bad in yoga pants with a t-shirt tucked in. (I had to protect my modesty in front of my father and any of my parents' neighbors that may have glanced out their windows!)

Long story short, I wowed myself and my daughter improved slightly (after she beat herself up after watching video of her own cartwheels). We've got many more tutoring sessions ahead of us, but I'm sure she'll get it.

Item: I'm no good at waiting in lines. All it takes is a few lovely days at theme parks to discover this personal truth.

However, the icing on the cake came as I waited in line at the Kodak machine in Target to print 9 measly photos for Big Girl's school project behind two insanely rude and inconsiderate women for 40 minutes as they scanned and printed copies of an ENTIRE photo album! They kicked my personal torture into high gear with a particularly vicious below-the-belt assault to my afternoon schedule as they turned away from the machine and chatted with an old friend who was, apparently, so close and important to them that he was completely unaware that she had divorced her husband FIVE FREAKING YEARS AGO and is now dating a new guy who is "a big boy" whatever that was supposed to mean.

At this point, I refrained from my vain attempts to silence my tired daughter's whines. Let her whine. Go ahead, baby. Tell them how tired you are.

"What was that, Honey? This is taking FOREVER? You're hungry? I know, Sweetie. Let me see, I think I found a stale fruit loop in the bottom of my purse. Suck on this until we finally get a turn to use this machine. I just hope it is before the preschool closes. It would be awful if the school called the Department of Children and Families because I never made it to pick up your baby sister. Poor baby girl, she's probably going to be the last one there tonight. I hope she knows that we'll come EVENTUALLY for her. Surely her teacher will take her home eventually, right? They won't call a foster home yet, will they?"

It took me a good...24 hours?...for my blood to stop boiling. Actually, I'm not sure it ever really stopped. I hate waiting in lines.

A New Addition

In case you haven't noticed... What? You have A LIFE other than reading my blog???... I've added a "Reader On the Run" corner box. This lovely little bite-sized chunk of neuroses was inspired by my brother Abner. You see, as he so carefully explained to me how much he enjoys reading my blog updates (He lived with me for 17 years or so...he knows how important word choice is.), he also just as carefully explained the disappointment that accompanies the realization that he doesn't always have time to read a complete post. After a discussion of how best to meet my reader's needs, the idea for this handy-dandy little corner was born.

Here's what I wrote to explain it that night:

I totally respect the fact that you are a busy gal/guy and don't always have time to stay for my entire neurotic shpeal. (How do you spell that word, by the way? I have no Yiddish Schema. I didn't learn the word "tchotchke" until I worked for a Jewish accountant a few years ago.) Anyhow, when you're on the run -- check out my new corner. Oh, and thank you, Abner, for the inspiration. Always with your finger on the pulse of the masses.....

So, with busy readers in mind today, I'll end this post here. Be sure to check back, though, to have a nibble of my random thinkings. I hope you'll enjoy them.

Disclaimer: I told you I'm not very good at "daily" things. So just keep in mind that this is AN EXPERIMENT. Don't hate me if it fails miserably, OK? Thanks!

Friends In Low Places

I'm sure you've heard the old addage, "You lay down with dogs and you wake up with fleas." Have you ever felt like a friend was a bad influence on you? Recently, I've realized that I've got just such a friend.


We'll call her..."Tiffany". Tiffany is like a gateway drug. She is my portal to addiction. Perhaps, I should explain.

First of all, Tiffany is the reason this blog exists. As well as my THREE other blogs. (Can you say NEUROTIC, boys and girls?) Tiffany is the reason I twitter. Tiffany is the reason I Googled my life a few years back. Or whenever it was - I've lost track. Let me check my Google Calendar... Tiffany is the reason I, subsequently, needed a Blackberry. And, finally, Tiffany is the reason I recently experimented AGAIN.

To be fair, I can take blame for her "involvement" (I really wouldn't classify it as an addiction) in Facebook....as well as a few others. And, like a good little addict (You know I try to be the best at everything I do. None of this wishy-washy, willy-nilly stuff for me.), I try to recruit as many new Blackberry users, twitterers, and bloggers as possible, too. But, I wouldn't be "spreading the word" if it weren't for her. (Think: pyramid scheme.)



Now, don't get me wrong...I love Tiffany. (Don't worry, Mr. Starbucks Man. It's not the same as you and me.) Our Little Darlings get along, we have a lot in common, we laugh together, we see eye-t0-eye about a lot of Really Important Teacher Stuff, she gives me gifts...it's a good thing. (Which is lucky, because she keeps telling me she may be moving in with me next year.)

I think now, dear readers, would be a good time to tell you about my latest experimentation.



You see, Tiffany has been granted this Very Exciting Professional Opportunity. She's going to host a "blog tour" with a REAL AUTHOR to promote their new book. Now, in typical Tiffany fashion, she had to think big. So, what did she decide to do? Well, she's hosting the book talk in Second Life.


Being the Gateway to the Empire of Addictions, as she is, this is not the first time she's pitched Second Life to me. Prior to this upcoming event, it seemed too "Little Brother" for me. (My brother Jethro is fluent in the online gaming world.) It also reminded me of a CSI episode I saw a long time ago (a "long time ago" in TV Land time, that is). I decided it was NOT FOR ME.

However, I'm not afraid of a little experimentation. I can handle something a little "outside my boundaries", right? I live on the edge. I can strut my stuff on the wild side, too, right?


I sucked it up and registered for Second Life.


Woah.


"Standing" in Second Life, taking care of a few priorities first (sculpting the perfect face and body), I flashed back to my first frat party at UF.

There I was, this street-stupid girl with issues about crowds, standing amidst a sea of nearly professional drinkers. A sea of STRANGERS. Well, all except my street-smart Miamian roommate. I'll never forget the moment someone said "5-0". I stood motionless, completely unaware and oblivious, until my guardian roommate took action and drug me along. As I followed her stupidly, she had to explain to me that "5-0" means COPS. (Turned out to be a prank, by the way. But it wouldn't have mattered to me, right? I don't like beer.)

How was it the same, you ask? Well, not unlike the fraternity party, I felt completely inferior to others around me. I felt completely vulnerable. I wanted to be invisible. I prayed that no one tried to talk to me - or, worse, proposition me. I wanted to make a sign to hang above my head that said, "New here. Don't come near me." Or, a sign that said, "I'm not here to have fun. I just want to look decent for this teacher thing coming up." I considered playing mute. (That wasn't too far from the truth. I was definitely handicapped.)

To make a long story short, I don't think SL is compatible with my computer, which is a good thing. I don't think I'm ready for that...yet. So, if you are a Second Lifer, and you happen to run into this newbie gal named "Ella Rembrandt" who is standing somewhere staring at a wall - don't bother trying to talk to her. Just walk the other way...






As for Tiffany and I? No hard feelings. I love her like a druggie loves their dealer.

Will you be my BFF?

**Author's Note: As it turns out, the plans have changed for the blog book tour. It will not be hosted in Second Life...but, that's another blog post.**