Thursday, September 17, 2009

Big Girl Panties

This post is sponsored to you by the gals at

In order to protect the classiness of this fine establishment, gentlemen, please do not read past the logo. It's time for a little...

Today, it was my turn to deliver dancers to the studio. It was a crazy day and as I drove I was mulling over lots of to-do lists and scattered thoughts. At some point, the squeals from the "way back" [3rd row of seats] penetrated through my thoughts, causing me to glance up into my "kid cam" mirror (you know the one, the second rear view mirror I keep in my car permanently focused on my daughters' seats - a.k.a. the eyes in the back of my head).

There, in my car, sat two nearly naked six year-olds. They were stripping to their little girl panties and trying to dress for dance without getting tangled in their seat belts. I laughed to myself at their shrill sounds of delight, and remembered the confidence that comes with childhood. And the tight little booties.

How many times have I thought to myself, "Man...if only I looked like that..." If my buns looked that good in leggings... If my bootie looked that good in hipster bikinis by the pool... If only I looked that cute in bootie shorts...

Over the course of my lifetime, I've worn just about every type of undergarment a woman (or man?) can imagine. Granny panty briefs (as a child), bikini bottoms, hipsters, thongs, lacey, cotton, synthetic, satin, no line, frilly trimmed, you name it.

And that's just talking about the lower half! I've worn training bras, sport bras, regular bras, lightly lined, demi-cup, full cup, underwire, racer back, nursing bras, sleep nursing bras, stick-on, front closure, long line, strapless, built-ins, custom cups sewn into evening dresses, and more.

There are some "extra" pieces, too. In the winter, I often wear camisoles as I layer for warmth. And, MyMama successfully brainwashed me growing up..."nice girls wear slips". Of these, I've worn both half and whole, long and short, with kick-slits, and without. I've even worn MATERNITY slips. (Although I do have to admit...I have a few knit skirts with fold down tops that I can't wear a slip under...they twist and ride up with a slip on.)

When I really reflect on my career as an underwear model in cognito (yeah...don't want to blow my cover so I try to keep that little secret under lock and key), regardless of the make and model, I liken underwear to hormones. They can change everything about you - your appearance, your mood, your ability to concentrate on a task at hand, constantly need tweeking, and they can transform your marriage....for better or worse.

That being said, perhaps it is not what we say of our underwear, but what our UNDERWEAR says about US...

Right now, I'm really wishing my underwear drawer didn't look quite so much like a tornado had struck.


  1. I totally agree! They definitely affect our appearance for sure, as well as our moods and our self confidence! Like I always feel sexier, younger, or better when I wear a certain pair. Having on something uncomfortable will definitely ruin my day that's for sure! :)
    PS: Same thing could be said of my drawerI have to get around to organizing that soon :)

  2. Nice analogy (and so true). I remember hearing the "nice girls wear slips" speech from my mom, too. That lasted only until I was out of the house and she could no longer check, LOL. PS. We're more than halfway through Nablopomo - go us! :)


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