Thursday, February 4, 2010

‘Fraidy Cat

It’s Thursday…so it’s time for Girl Talk.  Although, if you ask me, this week’s Girl Talk Thursday topic really isn’t girlie at all, if you ask me.  It’s actually rather gender neutral.  This week, we’re talking about fears.

This post has been very personally revealing to work on.  I always considered myself somewhat cowardly, but after thinking about my fears, my experiences, and what I’m sure I could probably be talked into doing…I’m realizing that I’m a little gutsier than I thought. 

But, there are still some things of which I am very much afraid.  For instance,

 

Cliff Diving 

You know those beautiful, picturesque scenes in movies that highlight the graceful arc and fall of a beautiful, tan body, ending with a swooshing splash into the gorgeous water below?  That will NEVER be me.  Not only am I a bit chicken to dive at all – but I’m EXTREMELY terrified at the thought of diving into the ocean.  And, diving right next to a rocky cliff???  Who are we kidding?  I would be splattered on the rocks somewhere between here and there – and the word “graceful” would not enter anyone’s mind.  I think the words “horrific trauma” would be a much better description.

 

Hurt Feelings

I never want to hurt other people’s feelings.  Well, perhaps never is a strong word.  Let me clarify…if you kick me when I’m down – I will snap.  If you hurt my babies – I’ll hurt you back.  But, until that point, I never intend on hurting anyone’s feelings.  I am the person who replays conversations over and over again in my head asking myself, “Was I too rude?  Do you think I shouldn’t have said that?  Did they know I was only kidding?”…and so on. 

In fact, tonight I considering this as my Facebook status:

The irony.  On my way home this evening, I passed by a pack of Jehovah’s Witnesses on their bicycles stopped right beside a sign advertising concealed weapon classes.  That gave me a chuckle.  Guess I won’t make the cut, huh?

I deleted it before pressing that oh-so-final “share” button because I could just imagine one of my friends reading it and thinking, “Uh!  I’m a Jehovah’s Witness!  What is she saying?? What did she mean by that??”  I meant nothing by it, other than it was funny to see them parked next to that sign….but I was so AFRAID that someone would misunderstand/misconstrue/misinterpret the way my little brain puts two things together, and get their feelings hurt, that I just couldn’t do it.

This is also what keeps me from making a stink (most of the time) to people about incompetence.  And it is a chief reason for my avoiding conflict as long as possible.  (That’s not to say I avoid it completely…just until I can’t stand it anymore.)

Scary Movies

They give me migraines and nightmares.  I feel sick to my stomach.  None of that is FUN.  I watch movies for enjoyment – not torture.  I have NO DESIRE to watch something that is intended to FREAK ME OUT.  Thank you, but no thank you.

 

Rejection

Sad, but true.  I am still afraid of being rejected…and I’m how old?  Yep.  Rejection is still below the belt. 

 

 

As I mentioned earlier, preparing for this post made me realize that I’m braver than I think.

Things I considered listing, but then admitted that I could probably be talked into doing…

I could be talked into bungee jumping.

I could be convinced to try sky diving…I can reassure myself that it’s safe enough to try because I’ve known quite a few people who’ve done it.

I could muster up the bravery to do things (hold, let them crawl on me, etc.) involving bugs and weird animals…short of eating them…Although, I’m fairly willing to try eating new and “strange” foods, though I don’t necessarily think I will enjoy them.  Like ants, for instance…I could eat ants.  Roaches?  No.  Snake? Crickets? Worms? Sure.  Tarantula?  Absolutely not.  (I love to watch Anthony Bourdain.  I would LOVE to go on a trip with him somewhere.)

I guess the bottom line is, while I’m generally an apprehensive person, I will find courage and face obstacles and challenges when I need to…or when I’m pressured into it. :) I’ve learned through experiences that I can do WAAAAY more than I think I can.  For instance,

I’ve learned to love roller coasters and I’ve always loved speed. 

Heights don’t bother me at all.  I was slow and careful this summer as I climbed a 20-foot ladder to clean my grandmother’s windows after soaking them with bug spray in a massive attempt to kill the 2 1/2-inch hornet that invaded her house and tried to kill us all.  I was far more afraid of that nasty, (surely) deadly hornet than the rickety extension ladder held stable by a near 300-pound man at its base!

I earned my SCUBA certification, thanks to a very patient, gentlemanly UF instructor who was willing to meet me at the pool – at night (yeah, retrospect…???) - and help me conquer my crippling “nose breather” disability.

 

And, I’m sure many of you, my fellow ‘fraidy cats, have similar stories of achievement and conquered fears.  It really is all mind over matter…right?

4 comments:

  1. Ooooh, do all topics on Girl Talk Thursday have to be girlie in nature? I never considered it like you are said but these are just conversations we want to have (or have had) with our girlfriends. *Do not replay that comment in your head. I'm just saying that it is an interesting perspective and I must think on it!*

    Rejection - I know this one well and I fear it as well. Do you know how NERVOUS I was going to meet you in person? You're totally awesome and I was worried you couldn't want to hang again!

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  2. Hmm... You just gave me something to think about in regards to confrontation and not wanting to hurt others' feelings: I have this inherent need to be liked, and that kinda precludes being the Mean Girl. Interesting!

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  3. I hate hurting people's feelings and loathe confrontation, so I do a good job of avoiding. If you can't say something nice, then you should say nothing at all are words I live by. For better or worse.

    I just shivered off the couch thinking of a bug crawling on me. Thanks for that! ;)

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  4. Right there with you on hurt feelings and rejection, but I will TOTALLY go sky diving with you!

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