Today got the best of me. Not even a good pair of boots, a gray pencil skirt, or a happy, springy coral beaded necklace could lift me out of my funk. I hate days like today. Days when you feel sticky. Days that feel like trying to open up Duck Tape that has folded closed on itself. Days when you just want to sit down and watch a bird nonchalantly pick at something on the ground near your feet, while the world speeds on and on around you in a blur, the people leaving colored trails in their wake. Days when you’d like nothing more than to draw your curtains, crawl back into bed, and let the cool, smooth softness of your favorite sheets envelope your toes, feet, legs. Let the gentle weight of the quilt cradle your bruised heart as you drift off to the place in your mind you can control, where you can feel smiles beneath your belly button and see love and happiness like an aura around you.
Your happy place.
As I was driving home tonight, feeling that awful ball of negativity welling up inside my chest, I decided I would play a game of reverse psychology with myself. This evening, rather than write all about how sad or miserable I can feel…I’ll write about what makes me happy. I’ll go to my happy place and bask in it for a moment…or two…or maybe more.
I’ll think about driving in a red car with all the windows rolled down. The music is loud and I sing with my companion at the top of our lungs. We feel the wind whip our hair around our faces and necks and we extend our hands out into the strong currents of wind pushing past the car. We smile and look towards the open road ahead. We feel free and young and alive and amazing.
I’ll think about sitting on the beach. I can feel the sand between my toes and in the cuticles next to my Marilyn Monroe Red toenails. The water washes up beneath my chair and laps up over my calves. I raise my book so it doesn’t get wet, and squeal with a start as the salt water chills my warm body. As the water recedes, I watch the wet sand run away into the surf with the last traces of water. My feet and heels sink deeper into the sandy earth, and I wiggle my toes like a little girl.
I’ll think about swinging at a park with my girls. We pump our legs high and hard, trying to touch the sky with the points of our toes. We giggle and shriek as our tummies flip flop and try to escape our bodies. We are sure our bottoms will lift from our seats at any moment, sending us sailing through the air. If only we had wings, we would take off and join the birds in the sky above us.
I’ll think about walking on a city street, alone. Smiling at people as they pass, slowing to look in windows whenever something pretty or shiny catches my eye. I have time to take, and I am calm and quiet amidst the chatty, busy herd of pedestrians. My skin is smooth and cool to the touch as I brush stray hairs from my face. I turn away from the display that caught my eye, towards the smiling face that called my name. My heart warms at the sight of an old friend as we hug, thankful for this unexpected treat.
I’ll think about laughing. A good, loud, down to my toes laugh. The kind that makes you throw your head back and laugh with your mouth wide open, almost as though trying to catch rain or snow on your tongue. The kind that makes your sides hurt and your cheeks cramp. A laugh that brings tears to your eyes and steals your breath. The kind of laugh that makes you want to touch someone – lean into them, share a hug, a smiling kiss.
These are my happy places. I’ll run away there and breath deeply.
Photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alternatewords/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0
The beach is also one of my go-to happy places. Must be a FL thing. :)
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